Join Coach Sam Falsafi and Micheal Widmore as they expose lies, remove masks, and tell the real, raw truth in this week’s riveting episode of Parables from the Pit.
Parable #1: The Envelope
- Michael: May 16, 2017. I walked into our apartment and told my fiancé that I had rented another place and was moving out. She didn’t fight me over the decision, but stayed calm and handed me an envelope she had been saving for my birthday, still three weeks away. She felt impressed to give it to me at that moment. Inside was a ticket to WarriorCon 1.
- I first met Garrett a couple of years earlier at a real estate event I was hosting. He was our first instructor where, over a six-hour period, we watched how he radically changed the lives of 24 realtors. Imagine American Idol – I was Ryan Seacrest and my fiance was one of the judges. The night of receiving the envelope, my fiancé looked at me and said, “I think Garrett can help us.” I canceled my new lease that night.
What date has life-altering significance for you? Why?
Parable #2: I’m a Pretender
- Michael: The story that ran my life for years was, “I’m a single father.” I hung my hat on being a father to my son. I’m a hero. I raised my fucking son on my own. I’ll show you pictures of me and my son at the park, at events, of us spending time together, but you won’t see the Michael who’s screaming and yelling, losing his temper, and being a fucking asshole. I won’t show that shit.
- Coach Sam: How come no one talks about the shitty stuff they do as a dad? Go look at yourself in the mirror, review the past fifteen days, and write down the top 10 shittiest things you’ve done to your kids. Most people won’t do this and will defend their actions. They’ll say fuck you to this pattern interrupt to avoid the pain and misery of being alone inside of that game, protecting someone they’re actually not.
Who are you? Are you living a double life?
Parable #3: Blackout
- Michael: Alcohol was my Pit. Back in 2007 when we could make money in real estate with our eyes closed, a friend of mine would take took two shots of vodka with sprite, nothing more, nothing less. He told me it took the edge off. That became me for the next 10 years. Some days it was the whole bottle. Today (at the time of recording this podcast), I’m 95 days sober.
- Coach Sam: Before I quit drinking, I remember a decade of drinking based on a pattern and routine. On Friday’s and Saturday’s, I was drinking so I could socially go out – clubbing and the dance scene. If I wasn’t drunk, I couldn’t be the clown, the likable guy, or even see myself as a guy operating in that environment. I risked my life and my wife’s life for fuckin ten years.
What has been your experience with alcohol?
Parable #4: Modern Man’s Trauma
- Michael: I’m a great example of the kind of guy that needs to come to Warrior Week. I’m the guy who lives the lie that everything is ok. There’s not a glaring need like someone else who’s cheating on their wife or has some drastic problem. In my life, on the surface, it all looked pretty good. When I gave myself permission to open myself up to look at my Pit, that’s when I began to realize just how shitty things had become.
- Coach Sam: Men come to Warrior Week, some because they feel the pain of the lies they’re facing or telling – maybe they’re cheating or being cheated on; some are disconnected from God, their children, or from their bodies. The modern man lives inside the world of technology and social media, a world of fuckin pretenders. It says we’re here to connect you, yet in this connection, there is a disconnection to the human side and a connection to fantasyland.
Where in your life are you more connected to fantasy and less to reality?
Parable #5: The Letter
- Michael: Within two days of returning home from Warrior Week, we were on the verge of breaking up. She was ready to leave me after I had been doing the work for two months. I wrote her a three-page letter from my heart expressing my feelings to her. I don’t consider myself to be a good communicator, so a letter allowed me to get everything out onto paper, giving her the chance to take it all in without me fucking it up.
- Coach Sam: If you feel like you’re stuck in your communication with your wife, if every conversation turns into a fight about things that don’t fucking matter and you’re left with feelings of guilt and shame – if conversing with your wife seems to be impossible – consider writing her a letter. A letter allows you to express your flow and allows her to receive it without interruption.
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone you love?
Parables from the Pit:
“Modern man is not a man of transition. That’s why the modern man is fucked up. I like to compare transition to that of a dancer who transitions from one dance to another. Your wife and kids want someone who can transition and dance in between the chapters of life: Body, Being, Balance, and Business. Warrior is the game of transition.”
— Coach Sam Falsafi
“One of my favorite things Coach Sam has taught us is this: Love + Fun = Connection. You don’t always have to take your kids somewhere for that to happen. It can be anything. You can draw a picture together or have an imaginary sword fight. They don’t give a shit as long as you’re present. That’s the shit they’re going to remember.”