In this week’s episode, Blake Bourque joins Coach Sam as they discuss the amazing set of circumstances that brought Blake to Warrior, which brought an energy of alpha yet honest men that have learned to not be saviors to others, but leaders instead.
- Warrior’s energy resonated with Blake and he was attracted to the fact that men were willing to be honest, no matter what. He had been living as a liar among liars for so long and was tired of stinking like a pig because pigs don’t know they stink. His encounter was unlike anything he had ever experienced in all his years in Corporate America and he wondered, “Could this be home? Have I found my people?”
- Blake: The Holy Spirit was bringing me to a place where my whole body was being crushed. Everything in my personal and business life was gone – everything. So when Warrior found me via someone sending me a link to a video, six minutes into it when I saw Garrett on stage saying “stop fucking lying,” I was all in.
What was your first encounter with Warrior like? What resonated with you? What reeled you in?
Parable #2: The Tailspin of Sedation
- Blake: After my wife and I lost our twin girls in 2009, in the midst of my grief I felt I had found my Purpose – I was going to go out and save lives. I began sedating myself from the pain with drugs and work, and in the process built a multi million dollar business, yet with that, I lost my relationship with my wife. When you numb yourself against pain, the counter to that is you’re numbing yourself against joy.
- I looked at my wife every single day and didn’t know she was mirroring me. That’s what Warrior taught me – people mirror you. They mirror your energy, your grief, lies and pain. What happens is you see that mirror and you don’t like that mirror and then you get mad at them for that mirror. I would be pissed at her and would verbally take things out on her. It was a very dark period.
What are you seeing about yourself in Blake’s experience?
Parable #3: That’s What I Did, Blake
- Blake: On the run up to Warrior Week while I was bonding with the men inside social media, I kept talking to my wife about it and she would say, “that’s what I did, Blake. I did yoga, I did meditation, I did journaling and writing. Do you want me to show you my journals? Do you remember when you told me this was stupid? A waste of time? That you didn’t want to do it?”
- “I’m going to let you do this. Not that I’m giving you permission to do something, because you can do whatever the hell you want. I’m gonna peel back my scars, I’m gonna rip open my wounds and I‘m gonna let yours stick to me so we can heal together. But if you fuck this up, if you don’t go all in and you leave me with open wounds again, it’s over.”
Are you really seeing your wife? Your children? Are you really listening to them?
Parable #4: Retrace, Face, Replace and Embrace
- In the darkness lies the truth. When we talk about the Pit, you have to go there and you have to look at an emotional charge that took place at one point in your life. What you were, what you are, what I was and what I am is a series of emotional charges that took place in us. Call them feelings, events – whatever the fuck took place at one time in our childhood or recently.
- These emotional charges are stored in the dark under the truth because they’re the facts. In order for us to process them, we must first do the work and retrace them, then we’re going to face them and most important of all, we are going to replace the story. This happened but the story that we fabricated that builds the truth around it needs to be rewritten and finally embraced.
When will you choose to process the emotional charges stored inside of you?
Parable #5: Warrior Week is a Test of Your Heart
- Sam: Warrior is not a physical event. We are not here to present that we are military guys or that we know how to break you down. We are here to look for what you have inside of your heart. Warrior Week is the test of your heart.
- Blake: Sedated men need to be woken up. If the Trainers don’t scream at you, you won’t wake up because there’s something inside your fucking heart that you’ve put to sleep – and Sam Falsafi is going to fucking wake it up. Warrior didn’t teach me how to be a badass with a boot on the back of someone’s neck, Warrior taught me how to give time, how to feel and how to tell the fucking truth.
When will you awaken your heart?
Parables from the Pit:
“In this place, we will tell the truth as it happens. And the truth is very different from the facts. Between the facts and the truth there are a number of stories. Those stories are behavior justifications and assumptions fed by your ego, and in the midst of that lies the truth, which is the version that has always been there. We built this podcast so men can come here and share their pain, and through this sharing, the pain is divided one more time; but more importantly, it can pierce your heart and say: I know you. I know you mother fucker. You have the same pain.”
–Coach Sam Falsafi
“I need to find people who have been through similar circumstances. They don’t have to be exactly like me, but they need to be able to relate. I know there are people far worse than me and I want to be able to help them. It sounds strange, but it’s the truth. I want to meet people who have the same pain in their souls. Maybe they can help me or I can help them. I think that whole sharing process may be good for me right now.”
–Blake Bourque (This was penned in his journal while on a silent retreat in 2009, four months after the loss of his twin daughters.)