Coach Sam and Coach Kevin have a discussion about the shit that no one talks about. The societal taboo around topics such as miscarriage, sex, masturbation, death, and porn are stripped away in this week’s important and candid conversation.
Parable #1: Pain, Shame, and Guilt
- Some of us don’t talk about something because it has happened to us and it’s painful, or we feel guilt and shame around it because it’s not “supposed” to happen.
- Then there are some of who don’t talk about it because it didn’t happen to us, we feel guilt and shame around that and feel that we’re not “worthy” to talk about it. We sometimes feel that talking about it will somehow bring it into our lives.
What stops you from talking about certain things?
Parable #2: Miscarriage
- Miscarriage is more common than one might think, occurring in more 30% of pregnancies, yet it’s one of those things that nobody talks about. Both Coach Sam and Coach Kevin have experienced this in their life.
- As a man, Coach Sam felt lost and paralyzed; he felt like it was somehow his fault. There was no blueprint available for him to follow, and no one to go to for help or answers. So he found himself turning to “Google” for help.
Where did you turn for help?
Parable #3: Sex? Masturbation? Shhhh…
- This notion that it’s unacceptable and taboo to talk about certain things like sex or masturbation is something that we see everywhere, from church groups to family, friends, and social media. To bring it up in a conversation is considered to be totally outside of the realm of acceptable topics.
- That leads to unhealthy ideas about these natural aspects of being human because no one is guiding us. Imagine if your parents had engaged in a candid conversation about sex with you (what feels good, what a woman likes, what a man likes, etc.) instead of you having to Google it or finding out from friends??
Do you talk to your kids about sex and masturbation? Why or why not?
Parable #4: What Do You Want?
- The shit that we don’t talk about is linked to the lies that we choose to live. As long as you don’t talk about it and choose to live in a lie, you never truly access the power of the truth, which is ultimately linked to what you truly want.
- If you don’t declare what you want, all you have, at the end of the day, are false desires. You’re chasing some fantasy that can never exist because you never really thought about what it really means.
What lies are you telling yourself and others about what you truly want?
Parable #5: Ugly Fruit Before Beautiful Fruit
- Coach Kevin: I’d rather see a dude that shows me a deposit slip for $150 than a man’s dream of one million dollars. The fantasy creates this beautiful illusion, then blinds you to the ugly result. The truth to any success is this: there’s ugly fruit before there’s the big, beautiful fruit.
- You might see the end fruit of the guy who’s the millionaire, but he started with the ugly fruit at some point. It’s the ugly fruit that showed him what to do to produce the bigger fruit.
What illusion or fantasy are you creating in your life by not being honest?
Parables from the Pit:
“At the end of the day, the reason why relationships don’t work out is because of the shit we don’t talk about; the fact that we lie.”
“So many people rush into a real situation believing the fantasy because no one ever talks about it.”